The Relational Gravity of the Sexes
This essay is a segment of my recent investigation on the topic of gravity and my own experimentation with healing and energy work in the fields of relationships and emotional balancing. It is a suggested model of thought and in no way is intended to be offered as “the” truth. It is a subjective point of view I’ve been seeing emerge as a pattern within my own body and many of those I got to work with over the years.
So first, this article compounds on my recent exploration and expression around the Gravity of Gratitude (which you can read here), where I go into great detail and length as to what role gravity plays in our spiritual growth within a conscious and very human body.
Now, before I dive in, I’d like to express that the assumptions I am making and describing here are bereft of sexual insinuation or inclination - which means they are not describing men or women, but the part within us that chose (before birth and sometimes after) to identify with one gender or the other. Those who have more intricate identifications in most cases, from what I’ve experienced have a highly evolved and developed sense of energetic inquiry and in many cases even without knowing are involved in a deeper exploration of the energetic realm of this question than most of us.
The first assumption revolves around our “point of entrance”, a localized location where our souls enter and reside within our physical body. Even though this seems to vary from person to person, it seems that most feminine identified souls enter or reside in the sixth chakra or the third eye and most masculine identified souls enter or reside in the heart, the forth chakra.
What this means is that we have a reference point, or that we would feel the most natural or at home at those energetic centers. For the feminine, being guided and operating from a higher sense of spiritual intuition and guidance, and for the masculine, being, operating and residing in the heart. Living with and through the sense of emotional expansion.
If we look at society at large and investigate, what I just wrote doesn’t seem right at all. We tend to observe that men are naturally drawn more to their second chakra and sexual expression, and women tend to reside more in their emotional body and hearts.
That is where we find the hidden works of gravity. Even though our point of entrance is the forth or sixth chakras, due to the effects of gravity our place of residence drops two chakras down. From the third eye to the heart and from the heart to the second chakra, the pelvis.
Our spiritual journey within a human energy vehicle (HEV) as termed by Jonathan Goldman is the journey of defying gravity. Learning to balance our inner energy and rising back to our point of entrance and hopefully even beyond.
I’m not going to emphasize on or describe the chakra system here; thankfully there are incredible sources of lots of explanations about them everywhere. However, I would like to point out the terms frequency and resonance as relating to this field of study.
The simple definition of frequency is the rate at which a vibration occurs that constitutes a wave, either in a material (as in sound waves), or in an electromagnetic field (as in radio waves and light). The chakras are, for a lack of better wording, a spinning vortex of energy. That spin, of each of the chakras has a unique signature of a very specific frequency. Though it varies from one body to the next, they do resonate very similarly. Resonance in this respect means a sound or vibration produced in one object that is caused by the sound or vibration produced in another. When we get closer to other chakras or sources of energy our chakras will balance to resonate with each other.
When we speak in spiritual lingo about raising our vibration or balancing our chakras, we literally mean changing the speed of our internal spin. More awareness and focus can either speed things up – raise the vibration, or slow things down – lower the vibration. Higher and lower are almost technical terms here, more like changing the volume gauge on your sound system, they do not imply better or worse.
Our attempt therefore, is the journey towards finding a harmonious balance within our chakra system that will allow the energy within us to flow effortlessly with respect to our body and also in harmonious resonance with our fellow beings, sources of energy and all expressions of life that surround us.
We can see this structure as a monitoring system, giving us clues and insight into our physical, emotional and spiritual well being. By understanding the clues and guidance the chakras have for us we can understand our behavior, our choices and our physical manifestation of health.
By examining our chakras and the inner relationship they have within us to each other we can learn how to focus our intention and bring our attention to recovery and the required balance allowing for the natural process of healing to occur. Furthermore this understanding, or better say embodiment of comprehension helps us realign our inner reality and brings forth its reflection on the outside world, be it our bodies, our relationships and our interaction with life.
And so, let’s start with the feminine expression of energy placement. As mentioned, the point of entrance and residing force is the third eye or the sixth chakra. Which brings about the deep connection to the intuitive expression of spiritual understanding the feminine manifests with little to no effort. It seems the feminine simply “knows”. She has a sixth sense, a connection to a deeper sense of connection to either higher intelligence or profound connection to the earth.
As mentioned, due to gravity, the feminine drops down through her throat, the fifth chakra that deals with and calls forth communication, expression and her inner voice and straight into her heart. The heart has a different quality of intuitive knowing. It has the ability to transform personal and transpersonal love with discernment and harmony to all who are included in any given situation. That same heart makes decisions that the intuition of the mind alone might find challenging and even conflicting at times. As an intuitive being, the flood of emotion and sensory overload is a challenging experience. Especially where your surroundings, or resonating influence, which means, parents, society, our own biology and the media, do not encourage the experimentation and curiosity needed to explore the emotional intuition of the heart. We are told to be “good girls”, to look for a safe and secure household and in a way not to open up to “strangers” – trust no one. With the years and our social influence, the fears, the pains and the scaring we’ve collected makes this journey into intuition even more challenging. We trusted our intuition and got confronted with deep disappointment and pain. Followed our hearts and were lead into hurtful abandonment and confusion. How then can we rise back to our intuitive point of entrance and balance its effects to trust and follow our hearts?
In short, answering this question is the essence of the entire spiritual journey. But specifically here, it would mean observing the chakra that’s “in the way”. From the heart to the third eye we encounter the throat, the fifth chakra. Here we are called to express our voice. Our concerns, our needs and desires. To balance our heart and our third eye we have first to open and clear our ability to communicate freely. For most of us, that is not an easy task.
This story keeps getting further complicated by the fact that the fifth chakra is mirrored and connected to her sister chakra which is the second one, our pelvic region and it’s accompanying emotions, desires and needs around sexual freedom and expression. Before we observe the second chakra and it’s connection to the fifth, we should point out that in order to understand the influence on its behavior we need to observe it “influencer” -- the chakra below, that again due to gravity affects the natural flow of energy of the one above it. We are basically trying to figure out what’s in the way of our graceful flow of energy. Here, we can see that the first chakra, the root that is in charge of feeling connected, feeling a sense of belonging and safety, greatly affects the openness and flow of the second. Since the second and fifth are mirrored and connected, we can understand why without communicating her needs for safety and emotional security the feminine can’t allow the second chakra to open fully.
And thus we are confronted with a vicious cycle of gravity pulling from the center of intuition and into the heart. The throat and it’s mirrored chakra needing expression and connection leading to a sense of lack of security and an overall emotional imbalance.
When we observe the masculine model of energy placement, again, we observe the point of entrance as the heart. A place of emotional expression, compassion, harmony and connection. Yet, due to gravity, the masculine is dropped through the third chakra, the center of action and doing and into the second, sexual expression and creativity.
If we observe the challenges most masculine identified bodies, it seems that in many cases they revolve around tightness of heart or an inability to stay present within an emotional context. The energetic explanation is the strong gravitational pull from the second and third chakras. As with the feminine, to understand what’s in our way to the heart, preventing the energy from rising, we’ll find the third chakra. The third chakra, situated in the area of the solar plexus, is the center of action, doing and manifestation. It is where our personal will originates, where we set and conform to boundaries but also where we feel isolated, alone and hold on to our emotional baggage.
When we situate ourselves in the third chakra and allow it to be the pilot of our life, we follow the idea that action and doing are the foundation to feeling safe, heard and connected. From that same place comes the concept of trying to “fix” everything and doing something about obstacles that come in our way.
When the masculine is attempting to reach its heart, reach back into feeling and emotion, it is using the same tools the third chakra has been expressing its entire life – doing, action, personal will and manifestation. When combined the by influence of the “influencer” chakra – the second one, which revolves in this case around sexual freedom, desire and pleasure we get a confusing mixture of isolated behaviors that seem selfish or self-serving. Yet in most cases, in the long run, lead to isolation and loneliness.
If we observe these energetic structures, of the masculine and the feminine, we can see a conflicting vortex of energy. One who is intuitive and needs a safe ground to follow its inner voice and expression and the other which is rooted in isolation and has action, doing and a strong vital sexual force as its guiding light.
According to my understanding of the spiritual journey, we are all headed towards living from our hearts. The source of personal and trans-personal love. A compassionate, deeply rooted sense of connection to self and other. To the universal expression around us, and to our inner most experience of emotion, spirit and body.
The feminine is confronted with “expressing” and “stability” in her journey into the intuitive knowing of living in her heart. The masculine is confronted with the need to “do”, change and transform his surroundings. The calling to explore his personal will and voice in creating boundaries and the demonstration of strength over nature, over life, a knowing it is in control. Feeling the need to work and do in order to feel connected and safe within his own heart.
We are further confused by models of relating, of sexual (mis)conduct shown to us by porn and general media. We aren’t taught how to decipher our own intrinsic spiritual mechanism of discernment and intuition. And thus the depth of confusion and even despair we see so prevalent all around us.
So what’s next? How do we take this understanding, literally, into heart? How do we allow our inner vision to transform and balance the energy within us to reflect a heart centered living?
So first, we differ greatly on our approach to this challenge. For the masculine, a need to “fix”, “change”, “shift”, “transform” will keep us rooted, deeply, in our third chakra, and that is, in a way, the same energy that brought us to this challenging experience in the first place. So the work here is more based on listening, being, exploring, waiting and anticipation than anything else. There will be forms of doing, but this doing is a result, or the symptom of a listening heart. If we observe Tantric teaching for example, the role of the masculine is more of listening one, the holder of space and presence the feminine so greatly needs.
My invitation is to begin a journey of exploring the sense of being, of a relaxed state of presence rather than follow up with another new project or a new “big” idea. Finding a deep sense of alertness that will come with allowing our energy to flow into our hearts. Relaxing our second and third chakras, letting those balance and drop into a deep sense of calm. When observing more of the Brazilian forms of spiritual guidance, connecting to life, offering prayer and gratitude to the forces of nature is a much more healing journey than anything else.
In relating and relationships, the masculine is called to listen. To offer not only a listening heart but also a present one that is called to offer mirroring and reflection and nothing more. Learning that in speaking less and in doing less you are actually offering so much more. Allowing the feminine to find her voice and express her intuitive knowing, will, in many cases, become the doorway to the masculine heart.
The intention to live a heart based life is much more challenging than it would seem. For someone living from their third chakra, the escalation into the heart and the cessation of constant action is not a simple feat. Yet, choosing to do so and taking the steps to bring about a the transformation needed for such a journey might be one of the most uplifting and fulfilling journey one might take.
The feminine on the other hand, is called to express her voice. Yes, literally her voice. Singing, expressing, painting her truth and aspiration. The feminine thrives in relation to her ability to speak her truth. Whether is be through writing, poetry, conversation or any form of art, as long as her vocal expression is included in that process. The throat chakra also holds our feelings of shame and guilt, our fears of rejection and our sense of self-judgment. The freedom in this chakra is monumental to the freedom of heart and intuition we seek while walking the feminine path. The safety and security the feminine needs can not be fulfilled without the clarity of voice and self expression.
In conclusion, both the masculine and feminine hold the keys for the spiritual evolution and growth of each other. Not only we embody both energies within our psyche, we can also tune in and learn from them both and use our connections, our relationships for healing and growth beyond our wildest beliefs. The body has an incredibly intelligent design, physically and energetically. All that is required for us to keep growing is a sense of awe and an inquisitive approach to life that will allow constant insight. With an open heart, you will see, the infinite light will keep shining through.