Nice to Meet You!
I'm Kai Karrel
A mystic, a medicine carrier, a practicing medium, and a passionate writer who strives to help people fall in love with themselves. My life has been a mythical story of devotion and awakening, a journey into the ends of the universe and the innermost depth of my heart.
I am enthusiastic about helping others walk the journey of a thousand petals – a journey toward self-acceptance and the discovery of self-love.
This is a little bit of my story.
From a very early age, for an unexplained reason, I had this tremendous pull toward mysticism and the esoteric arts. Anything spiritual would catch my eye. Whether it would be watching ‘Kung Fu’ starring David Carradine or reading the thrilling tales of Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. I will never forget the profound impact reading Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse had on my life. I couldn’t stop reading, and my hunger for more only kept on growing.
My thirst for a deeper understanding of the spiritual could not be quenched. No matter how much I tried and what modality I practiced, nothing seemed to satisfy my inner longing for the Divine.
This hunger led me to the greatest choice and the biggest mistake I have ever made. I decided at the age of twenty to join an ashram, dedicating myself wholeheartedly to the practice of spiritual life. It was an incredible choice because living in this ashram for over thirteen years led me to study in profound depth many different religions, traditions, and spiritual modalities. In those years, I devoted myself to an in-depth study of Hinduism and Yoga, Buddhism, Taoism, and the works of numerous masters. It was also, however, my biggest mistake because what started as a loving group dedicated to the study of meditation and divinity quickly turned into a destructive cult led by a false, self-proclaimed guru who had controlled me and my freedom for most of those thirteen years.
Words cannot describe the pain and agony I had to endure in those years. Humiliation and abuse, all in the name of destroying the ego, attempting to lead it to its disappearance. I failed to see, in those days, the destructive nature of this school and, even more so, the pathological state of my then, so-called guru. It took many years and a lot of suffering to finally find the courage to escape his grip and leave the cult. That choice was, once again, the greatest choice I have ever taken and the single most important decision I have ever taken in this life.
I then started realizing the profound perspective this horrific experience has given me. The ability to understand the nature of freedom and the multitude of ways in which the mind is masking the truth with codependency, fears, and various wounding. Living in captivity for so many years also awakened me to a sense of awe and immense gratitude for freedom and life, an awakening I doubt I could experience without living through such a challenge. I have learned, in the most direct of ways, to recognize what a fake teacher looks like, and in opposition to what I saw in the one I followed for so many years, how to compassionately support and help others in this journey of self-love, which has now become the central focus of my life.
The following stage of my life was mostly dedicated to my personal studies and sharing all that I have learned and experienced in my years of dedication to the oriental traditions. I’ve led hundreds of workshops and retreats, guiding others in different modalities on the journey of awakening. Yet, the most important next step was stepping on the path of plant medicine. For the first time in my life, I have accessed a place of clarity I had never experienced before. A knowing I have found my truest calling and the profound understanding that walking unto this path has been the culmination of everything else I have studied and experienced before.
The most important factor about the work with the plants is the fact you are facing a direct experience of divinity, without any mediation, teachers, gurus, or external influence. These plants are a sacramental offering through which the most intimate relationship with the Divine can occur. The discovery of our innermost self that occurs within this path is undeniable. It is the most profound esoteric and all-inclusive spiritual practice I have come across in all of my years of study.
As I started my journey with plant medicine, I was mostly introduced to ceremonies led in the Peruvian tradition, happening mostly in the dark and involving singing to the plants and animals of the forest. I would experience a vast landscape of internal visions which will lead to profound healing and an ever-deepening sense of awe. However, quite early on, my experience did not seem to match the facilitation style. I would shake uncontrollably; my hands would move, and the inner vision matched more of an angelic scene rather than a visit to the jungle, as the songs and Icaros sung would indicate. I encountered angelic spirits, Queens and Kings, and a highly evolved order which just didn't feel in alignment with what the ceremonies were about. After a few years of this specific study, I met with the Santo Daime - an Afro-Brazilian Catholic church originating in Brazil that would change my life and my experience of this path forever.
The Brazilian traditions and style and the content of the work were in absolute harmony with my own inner world of experience. The spiritu-religious content of the ceremony was a perfect match to my own vibration within this path. I soon became initiated into the mysteries of this school and kept expanding upon this body of wisdom. Santo Daime studies the depth of mediumship - the access, understanding, and interaction with the world of spirit.
My uncontrollable shaking and visions were now explained and put into context, and I could understand the inner landscape of partaking in this ceremony more than ever before. The path ahead was leading me to study mediumship even more than any field of study I have ever undertaken. Being now able to navigate this mysterious and uncharted land, slowly coming to understand the realms of spirit and continuing further with my own process of evolution and healing.
After studying for a few years with different Shamans, teachers, medicine circles, and traditions, whether Brazilian, Peruvian, Colombian, or others, I have come to the conclusion that for me to truly develop and grow within this path, I need a different set and setting, where the spoken language is one I understand, the prayers and teachings are more direct and guided, and the integration of the experience into my life is constant and continues beyond the scope of the ceremonies. After consulting with my teachers and following their guidance, I founded the Church of the Celestial Heart. A syncretic church based on the teachings of Santo Daime and Umbandaime yet offered in English, bringing forth an even deeper focus on guidance and instruction within the ceremonies themselves.
In order to develop the church, its doctrine, and its theological foundation, I have devoted my life to the continuous study, initiation, and practice of the different traditions which constitute the syncretic nature of its faith. I frequently visit my teachers in Brazil, primarily our Santo Daime mother church, Fraternidade do Coração, led by my dear friend and teacher, Padrinho Sergio Negri; our main school of Umbanda, Barquinha, and mediumship – Arca da Montanha Azul, led by Mestre Philippe Bandeira de Melo, and many others.
During my many visits to Peru and Brazil, I had the fortune of meeting many masters, shamans, and practitioners of these traditions. I got to visit and drink the sacrament with the indigenous tribes in the Amazon; experience miraculous visions and mystical experiences while going through my plant diets in Peru; cry tears of devotion with my brothers and sisters as we sing the hymns of Santo Daime and so much more. The experience of walking this path cannot truly be expressed in words. When I took my first cup… I could never have dreamed or imagined where it might lead and how my life would change in every possible way.